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More PIs in UK Kept Busy With Infidelity Cases

Private investigators are now being used more frequently as spouses try to catch their loved ones cheating, according to research released today. Almost twice as many women than men used the services in 2007 with more than two thirds of divorce lawyers reporting at least one instance of a client using a private investigator. The research, [...]

Private investigators are now being used more frequently as spouses try to catch their loved ones cheating, according to research released today.

Almost twice as many women than men used the services in 2007 with more than two thirds of divorce lawyers reporting at least one instance of a client using a private investigator. The research, compiled by Grant Thornton’s Forensic and Investigation Services practice, also showed that extra-marital affairs were still the main cited reasons given by couples seeking a divorce.

During 2007, just under a third of marriages broke down due to one partner being unfaithful. In more than three-quarters of those cases it was the husband caught cheating, a significant increase on the 69% from 2006.

Will Davies, a partner at Grant Thornton’s in Cardiff, said, “Marriages are meant to be built on trust, yet this figure shows this is not always the case. While hiring a private investigator might seem like an extreme length to go to, people just want to know the truth, even if it hurts.”

Mid-life crises were the second most common cause of a divorce with 14% of citations, seven times more than last year.

In 93% of cases it was the husband’s mid-life crisis that caused the problems. Family strains were the third most common reason with 11% of citations.

The English and Welsh divorce courts are still thought to favor women. Research showed that 94% of lawyers surveyed thought women petitioning for divorce would get the more favorable settlement.

The instant you lay eyes on the guy, you know exactly how Sherman “Tank” Jones got the nickname. The resemblance is remarkable. With the body of a bulldozer and head like a wrecking ball — let’s just say you’d be ill advised to diss his mama. Yet a big part of his job requires being invisible.

The instant you lay eyes on the guy, you know exactly how Sherman “Tank” Jones got the nickname. The resemblance is remarkable.

With the body of a bulldozer and head like a wrecking ball — let’s just say you’d be ill advised to diss his mama.

Yet a big part of his job requires being invisible. Him and his size-15 alligator shoes.

As a private investigator, Tank Jones sees what isn’t meant to be seen, hears what isn’t meant to be heard, knows what is supposed to be secret. He’s pretty sure, for example, that a client’s boyfriend who ducked out the door at 5:30 for an early-morning run didn’t mean to be videotaped indulging in a little side-dish activity on top of a picnic table in Anchorage’s Elderberry Park.

“In the beginning, I used to say, ‘I can’t believe they did that,’” Jones said. “I don’t say that anymore.”

All about love

After 47 years on this planet, and more than 20 years as a “private eye,” there’s one thing Jones is absolutely certain of: Love can make people really, really stupid.

With a degree in criminal justice from the University of Alaska, Jones has a day job doing criminal and civil investigations, mostly for defense attorney Rex Butler. The fooling-around stuff, he does on the side.

“Is your partner, husband or wife cheating?” hollers the ad he runs in the Anchorage Press. “Having an affair or fling? Let us uncover the truth. Tank Jones Investigations: Discreet, confidential.”

Suspicious boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives keep this man busy.

“Right now,” he says, “I can hardly keep up with the demand.”

Jones charges $65 to $175 an hour, with those higher rates kicking in once he has to travel outside the Anchorage area, stay in motels and rack up other expenses.

Judging from his caseload, women cheat more than men, and they’re harder to catch.

“I’m gonna tell you something, doing this for over 20 years, women are very, very good. Oh, yeah. Men, we don’t have a clue.”

Men cook up the dumbest excuses too. Like the guy who claimed his affair with an old girlfriend was for charitable purposes, to keep her from committing suicide.

And the lamest lies: That man seen with another woman? “Wasn’t me, just someone who looks exactly like me.”

In a shared office at Butler’s Anchorage law firm, dressed in a sleek gold suit, a diamond pinkie ring the size of a postage stamp and a gold watch so big it would take him straight to the bottom should he fall in the Inlet, Jones ran through a few of his more memorable cases:

The suspicious bride-to-be who learned her fiance had a boyfriend.

The traveling husband who found out his wife didn’t have a boyfriend after all. She had three.

Before the wedding
The woman who fainted when Jones discovered two weeks before the wedding that her fiance was having an affair with one of her girlfriends.

That wasn’t even the memorable part, Jones said. The memorable part was they got married anyway. He saw their wedding announcement in the newspaper.

I’m like, ‘Oh, my goodness,’” he said. When doing infidelity work, Jones may pull the old hidden-camera-in-the-baseball-cap trick. Or the situation may require a stakeout, sitting with cameras ready in a parked car for hour after mind-numbing hour. Jones says he never gets bored.

“I love surveillance. I could be sitting there for six hours and nothing happens. But that seventh hour …”

The way he describes it, it’s like getting hungrier and hungrier the longer you sit there, then suddenly a steak dinner appears on the dashboard.

His best score?

It wasn’t an infidelity case but involved the same fundamentals — lying, deceiving and performance art.

Jones was hired by an insurance firm to follow a guy who had won a large settlement after being injured on the job and claiming to be disabled by chronic back pain.

Caught in the act

“So they hired me to watch this guy,” Jones said. “I watched him for maybe a month and he was not moving a hair. …

“And this one particular day I’m watching him, he comes out with luggage and I follow him to the airport. He’s catching a flight. So I find out what flight he’s on and I book that flight too.”

Somehow Jones ended up sitting right next to him and struck up a conversation.

“I said, ‘Hey, where you going?’ He’s going to California. I was like, ‘Hey, I’m going to California too.’

“Then he said, ‘I’m going to a volleyball tournament at the beach.’ I said, ‘Really? You going to participate?’ He said, ‘Yeah, we’re going for the championship.’ I was like, ‘I would loooove to see something like that. I’ve only seen it on TV. If you want me to, I’ll take pictures.’

“So I went to the tournament and this guy was the center. I mean he was spiking and falling on the sand. …

“So I got all these pictures and I gave him copies.

“I gave him copies and came back and gave copies to the insurance company.

“Oh, yeah, that was some luck.”

For happy couples, the holiday season is a great time to reminisce, spend time together, and enjoy seasonal celebrations. For couples who are affected by mistrust and infidelity, however, the holiday season can be especially lonely and painful. Most private investigators agree that seeking professional help regarding a cheating spouse in important during the holidays.

For happy couples, the holiday season is a great time to reminisce, spend time together, and enjoy seasonal celebrations. For couples who are affected by mistrust and infidelity, however, the holiday season can be especially lonely and painful. Most private investigators agree that seeking professional help regarding a cheating spouse in important during the holidays.

The holidays can help PIs catch a cheating spouse

Most PIs agree that during the holiday season, it can be easier to catch a cheating spouse. This is because:

1) Most unfaithful spouses make mistakes during the season. The holiday season is hectic for everyone, but even more so for the individual who is surreptitiously trying to see two people at once. This individual will want to spend time with both partners and the added pressure of the holiday season can mean mistakes and clues. For example, a harried spouse may forget to erase voice mail or may be less cautious about signing out of email accounts. A private investigator has the skills and knowledge to make the most of these mistakes to gather solid evidence of infidelity.

2) Gifts can be important clues. Cheating spouses likely will want to buy special gifts for their loved ones – including for those individuals they are cheating with. Their spouses may notice an increased interest in shopping and additional use of credit cards – few cheating spouses can afford to buy gifts for their families and lavish presents for their new partners without the use of debt. Investigations into phone and credit card bills can reveal details about where a gift was delivered.

3) A cheating spouse will want to visit with his or her cheating partner during the holidays. Spouses sometimes notice that unfaithful partners are busier than usual around this time of year and seem to spend a great deal of time out. This makes it relatively easy for private investigators to launch a surveillance operation to get quick answers.

Should you start a cheating spouse investigation during the holidays?

Of course, the holidays are hectic enough and many families don’t want stress or bad news during the holidays. However, feeling cheated or betrayed during the holidays is just as painful as learning an unpleasant truth. Because it may be easier to find the answers during the holiday season, it is a good time to consider hiring a private investigator. Getting answers can help you start fresh this new year. If you find out the worst, you can use the new year to start taking actions toward a better life. If you find out that your worries were unfounded, you can begin the new year in a better and more loving relationship.

If you cannot cope with the idea of launching an investigation during the holidays, you still may wish to speak with an investigative professional. The professional may want to start an investigation now and you can arrange to get the results and answers you want after the holidays, when you are prepared to cope with the situation. In either case, an investigative professional can help you get the answers you deserve. To find a local, pre-screened private investigator to help with your infidelity needs, visit PInow.com.

Hiring-a-private-investigator-during-holidays.

Voulez-Vous Hide Your Adulterous Ways?

France is famous for its relaxed attitude to affairs of the heart (and loins). Unlike in the Anglo-Saxon world, the existence of extra-marital affairs — from the fictional Madame Bovary to former President Francois Mitterrand — is taken for granted there. French men even have a term for their mistresses: Le cinq á sept.

Study Suggests Why Cheating Spouses Need to be Confronted Fast

A study finds that infidelity can be a form of emotional violence that leaves betrayed partners with the same symptoms as an abusive partnership. Finding out the facts and acting on the cheating early may help the healing process.

A study conducted by Monash University in Melbourne, Australia finds that infidelity may have more in common with physical and psychological abuse than anyone has previously thought. The study conducted interviews with men and women affected by extramarital affairs and found that unfaithful partners share many of the same characteristics as abusive partners: they show little regard for their betrayed partner, and they experience the same guilt and remorse as abusers do after their cheating. Betrayed partners display many of the same characteristics as abused persons, the study concluded. Betrayed spouses may experience anxiety, an inaccurate perception of reality, depression, and poor self-esteem.

Study findings suggest link between abuse and cheating

In fact, the study found that there are many ways that infidelity and domestic violence are linked:

• The psychology of abusers and cheaters can be very similar. Both may justify their actions, deny their actions, or otherwise refuse to take responsibility for their behaviour. In both cases, the betraying party experiences some short-term remorse, but generally shows no concern about their partner’s feelings or well-being.
• The cycle of events and reactions is often similar in both. In both cases, a partnership may experience a build-up of tension, followed by introduction of pain (either abuse or unfaithfulness), followed by a short period of guilt and reconciliation, which may include a short resolution period, after which the cycle starts again with renewed tension. As with abuse, cheating can become a habitual pattern in a relationship, possibly compounding the emotional trauma it creates.
• Psychological response of victims. A betrayed partner may experience the same sort of trauma as a victim of domestic violence, researchers found. Betrayed partners often express feelings of worthlessness and low-self esteem, hopelessness, dependency, vulnerability, lack of control, and shame. Many victims – both of abuse and infidelity report that they lose sight of reality and start to blame themselves for their partner’s actions.

Breaking the abusive infidelity cycle

The findings suggest that getting out of an unfaithful relationship can be as crucial as breaking free of an abusive one. One step that can help partners to break free is to gather concrete evidence of unfaithfulness. Since unfaithful partners often take no responsibility for their actions, they may simply deny involvement in an extramarital affair when questioned. Concrete evidence gathered by a professional investigator can help bring the issue to the fore by providing tangible proof. Best of all, a private investigator can provide help and an objective insight into a relationship. If infidelity leads to legal action or a divorce, the testimony or evidence gathered legally by an investigator can stand up in court and can help protect a betrayed partner.

Partners who are ready to break free can consult the PInow.com Worldwide Directory of Private Investigators to find local, experienced investigators. The PInow.com Worldwide Directory of Private Investigators even has free resources that can help. With this free resource, finding professional help to overcome infidelity becomes a little easier.

Watch out - cheating partners busted

Spouse Busters is here. One of the newest businesses in Australia is going to spring cheating partners in the act. In an Australian first, Spouse Busters, a team of private investigators has set up business with the mission of outing cheating partners. And, there appears to be good money in the cheating game. It’s a burgeoning market which [...]

It’s a burgeoning market which is increasing fast.

The business has grown from a team of three investigators to twenty in just eighteen months.

Spouse Busters average twenty eight cases a week in Sydney alone.

The company’s clientele is described as a ratio of 50/50 male and female who come for proof or peace of mind.

Summer’s Fatal Attraction: Sex … Behind Your Partner’s Back

Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller, Peter Cook did it to Christie Brinkley, Kate Hudson reportedly did it to Chris Robinson and rumors have been flying recently about whether New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez is doing it to his wife, Cynthia. But infidelity isn’t just confined to rich and famous, and experts say it has [...]

But infidelity isn’t just confined to rich and famous, and experts say it has a lot to do with … temperature. Flings, they say, are a summer thing.

“Warmer weather has a huge impact on our hormones,” says Patrick Wanis, a relationship expert for Playboy Radio and Cosmopolitan magazine. “Summer is the most sensual and erotic time of the year. We show more skin, we’re emotionally more open and there are many more social and vacation opportunities to be led astray.”

Tapping into his email is snooping

My partner of three years and I have a 1-year-old child; there have never been any issues of infidelity on either part. However, I recently discovered that he has a secret email address. Although I don’t have the password to get in to the account, I was able to find out the pass code to change his password in order to gain access. I know that breaking into his account poses huge moral issues, as well as trust issues, but I can’t get this out of my mind. What should I do? - Curious and Confused

A: Having the means doesn’t give a licence to cross boundaries. Nor do you have any evidence of his wrongdoing. You could’ve picked up a phone extension to monitor his calls, steamed open letters addressed only to him, even followed him to work every day to see if that’s where he really goes. But you didn’t because “there have never been any issues of infidelity.”

Meanwhile, his secret email address could be a holdover from the past – a private address he’s never bothered to change; or maybe it’s the one he uses to vent frustration with his buddies. Ask him, if you feel you must.

Cheating is cheating - even 1000 miles away cheating-is-cheating-even-1000-miles-away

I saw a very interesting article in Friday’s USA Today that discussed business

The author, Gary Stoller, quoted an anonymous salesman discussing an apparent widespread dictum called the “1,000 Mile Rule” – “Within 1,000 miles of home, you play by the rules and don’t fool around, but beyond 1,000 miles you can do whatever you want.”

E-mail me if you have ever heard such a rule. It is a new one for me.

The article described the temptations of traveling due to the following factors … No. 1 “there is a freedom from the spouse’s scrutiny and home responsibilities,” No. 2 “there are more opportunities to meet new people” and No. 3 “there is a near constant availability of alcohol at after-hour-meals and social events.”

If you are a road warrior, do not think that you are immune to an affair. If your spouse travels a great deal on business it would also be a mistake to think that they are incapable of cheating while on the road. Opportunity + Alcohol = Trouble!

Infidelity is in the air for road warriors

Melissa cheats on her husband on business trips but not in her hometown. “That would be lethal,” she says. Like many frequent business travelers, she uses the protection of the road to live a secret life of romance far from spouses or partners. Their affairs range from one-night stands to relationships that last for years.

Melissa cheats on her husband on business trips but not in her hometown. “That would be lethal,” she says.

Like many frequent business travelers, she uses the protection of the road to live a secret life of romance far from spouses or partners. Their affairs range from one-night stands to relationships that last for years. They’re usually with a co-worker, a business associate or someone they encounter often during repeat visits to a city.

“Business travel creates an opportunity to cheat away from prying eyes,” says infidelity expert Ruth Houston, author of Is he Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs.